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June 16, 2006

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I've got 9 hours to my deadline for my 2000-word assigment (only written about 300 so far). And strangely I've been afflicted with a strange curse to blog during this stressful time. And yes, I'm coming back from my supposed absence. I've been feeling very disconnected lately. Disconnected from myself, from everyone else. It's like I'm watching myself from a 3rd person's view and I'm powerless to do anything. Maybe it's got to do with my frustrating sleeping habits. From my calculations it's a continuous cycle of being awake for 40 hours and sleeping for 8 hours. Doesnt take a genius to tell that it's unhealthy. Heh. Due to this, I've been watching a lot of channel news asia in the early morning. And I like it! More news than just reading the papers.

I've been thinking about writing a book for quite some time now. Gasp? It's always been a secret fantasy for me to be a mysterious writer. But writing in Singapore's environment, takes a special kind of mental steel. That's my opinion anyway. I'm excited for July to come. Because it'll mean I would completed all my assignments already. The SGH appointment on the 20th would be over too. It seems like over the course of the next 30 days, many things will be clarified, for better or for worse.

Fucking reservist from July 3rd-6th. Haven't you SOBs taken enough of my life away from me? My son will not have to go through this shit. And yes I am pissed off only because it falls between the 1st-14th.

The 9th of July however is a very interesting day. It's the delightful one's birthday AND the world cup final. No conflict of interest there.

Had a heart-to-heart talk with Tim. Which is quite rare, because we'd like to think we were macho alpha-males. Strange how 2 men who were both away from their other halves could have an emotional conversation. The things missing someone can do to you. No BrokeBack please. Stumbled upon a few epiphanies though. Faith and confidence was restored somewhat in me. If I can't be strong, how can I expect anyone else to be?

Finding it hard to talk about my problems to anyone. Feels like everything is building up inside of me. I think it's the self-defence mechanism kicking in again. This mechanism is horrible. I know what it can do. It hurts people. Sigh. Or maybe I'm just fussy.

I've to embark on writing the most important letter of my life. Wish me luck.

I miss Solitaire Showdown. Only one person I've ever played it with. Heh.

I need to know
I need to know
Tell me baby girl, cos I need to know

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