Much ado about nothing

I'm guilty of not blogging! Things have been pretty busy recently. I dont even know where to begin. Well let's see I screwed up on one of my assignments and so I'm desperately working hard on the rest. World Cup's been pretty awesome actually with my portugal going through! Yeah! Unplanned clubbing nights have and always been interesting for me. The stuff that happens, unpredictable! Why I always attract the fat ones, I will never have a clue. Maybe someone can fill me in?

The first half of the year has been the worst of my life whatever way I look at it, but finally fate is paying me back. So many opportunities, so little time. I am starting to have faith in these next 6 months, seeing how I never deserved the way fate dealt me such a horrid hand. Lots of birthdays and clubbing events to look forward to, hopefully it'll set me back to a path of happiness. My patience and understanding of everyone I love will never wane, even though it's been put to the sword recently. I firmly believe that just because someone screws with you, it doesnt mean you have to be any less to others. It's just unfair, and unfair I will not be.

Poor Aussie got knocked out yesterday but that's the way soccer is, the ball is round. I'm sure both Italy's and Australia's respective fans will feel that their team would deserve to go through. But that's the excitement of soccer. Its unpredictability breeds addiction.

You reap what you sow. Be warned that your actions will always inevitably come back to you somehow. I wish I could still curse those that do me wrong, but I've learned that I dont have to. Life will get you, of that I have no doubt. Just like how things can fall into place, karma will fuck you over just when you think things are going great. Dont ask me how, I know it will.

In another life, I sometimes imagine I'd be a knight. Riding and ruling justly. Saving a fair maiden and having smelly and primal activities. Haha. Back then, chivalry and honour was respected. Now it just gives way to money. It doesnt apply to everyone of course. Just to
some of you sad sad souls out there. I appreciate those around me who have such character, and damn those who have taken advantage of mine to a life of misery and regret. Trust me, it'll come.

Have to go get some good dinner tonight then group discussions beckon. I hope spain wins tonight. You have my monetary support! Haha.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Miraculously I have been deferred from reservist without having to do a thing. Elated, I am. Also, I have been given a clean bill of health for the year at least, which I'm happy about. The doc's put me on some cocktail, to my dismay. Never been a fan of drugs. Fortunately I persuaded him to give me a minimal dose. Havent smoked in a month and dont plan to start again, ever. Been working out, eating the right foods and looking better! Haha time to eat some humble pie. Damn, I'm hungry. Hungry for a delicious piece of life =)

Cancel

I've got 9 hours to my deadline for my 2000-word assigment (only written about 300 so far). And strangely I've been afflicted with a strange curse to blog during this stressful time. And yes, I'm coming back from my supposed absence. I've been feeling very disconnected lately. Disconnected from myself, from everyone else. It's like I'm watching myself from a 3rd person's view and I'm powerless to do anything. Maybe it's got to do with my frustrating sleeping habits. From my calculations it's a continuous cycle of being awake for 40 hours and sleeping for 8 hours. Doesnt take a genius to tell that it's unhealthy. Heh. Due to this, I've been watching a lot of channel news asia in the early morning. And I like it! More news than just reading the papers.

I've been thinking about writing a book for quite some time now. Gasp? It's always been a secret fantasy for me to be a mysterious writer. But writing in Singapore's environment, takes a special kind of mental steel. That's my opinion anyway. I'm excited for July to come. Because it'll mean I would completed all my assignments already. The SGH appointment on the 20th would be over too. It seems like over the course of the next 30 days, many things will be clarified, for better or for worse.

Fucking reservist from July 3rd-6th. Haven't you SOBs taken enough of my life away from me? My son will not have to go through this shit. And yes I am pissed off only because it falls between the 1st-14th.

The 9th of July however is a very interesting day. It's the delightful one's birthday AND the world cup final. No conflict of interest there.

Had a heart-to-heart talk with Tim. Which is quite rare, because we'd like to think we were macho alpha-males. Strange how 2 men who were both away from their other halves could have an emotional conversation. The things missing someone can do to you. No BrokeBack please. Stumbled upon a few epiphanies though. Faith and confidence was restored somewhat in me. If I can't be strong, how can I expect anyone else to be?

Finding it hard to talk about my problems to anyone. Feels like everything is building up inside of me. I think it's the self-defence mechanism kicking in again. This mechanism is horrible. I know what it can do. It hurts people. Sigh. Or maybe I'm just fussy.

I've to embark on writing the most important letter of my life. Wish me luck.

I miss Solitaire Showdown. Only one person I've ever played it with. Heh.

I need to know
I need to know
Tell me baby girl, cos I need to know

Taking a break

Sorry I've been away, my small amount of readers. Ha.
Things have been getting quite bad but I dont feel comfortable talking about it to those who dont care. Lesson learnt!

I'll be taking a break from blogging till the 30th of June!
Why?
Because I'm drained and I need to take a break from something at least.
Also, certain circumstances prevent me from speaking my mind. Why do I still put others first? Nice guys do finish last, but that doesnt mean I'm gonna change =) Heh.

Should be taking a short hol somewhere between 1st-22nd july, after that school starts again. Need to sort out what I'm going to do during that time, so many things, so little time.

It's a sad sad world for a black black heart.
Friend, confidante and lover.
That's all I ever wished I could've been.