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May 08, 2006

I've seen the light

I'm too exhausted to type out proper sentences.

First day of school was wonderful.
Beautiful women.
Germaine is a damn solid reason to go to class.
Lecturer was exactly like someone I had always wanted to impress.
Lecturer remembered my name first. Ha!
Some happening NP mass commers.
The emergency right before class almost ruined it all.
I feel proud at being able to lead older people.
I am no longer the slightest bit afraid of speaking in front of people.
I feel good that I'm able to understand what some others might not.
I am glad that I have previously been accustomed to an australian accent.
I like the interesting mix of people in class, seems like we have every type.
I like the fact that there doesnt seem to be anyone who's not interested in studying there.
Did I mention it feels good to lead older people? Haha.

Went to suntec.
Went for a drink at polleneurs.
Finally was able to talk to someone openly about all my feelings.
Convinced one of my best friends that that no matter what happened she would be the one.
Sang her praises.
Realised that I wasn't gonna hide anymore.
I knew what I had to do.
I knew it was the only way.
I didnt do it for myself, but for her.
I don't know which hurt more.

Time for a new direction.
Time for myself.
At least I know how I will treat myself.
Not horribly, that's for sure.
Time to appreciate people who give a damn.
Time to teach some others a lesson.
Actions have consequences.
And the consequences are different for everyone.

Nobody's perfect.
But sometimes on the rare occasion that you really love someone, those imperfections become part of that person's very perfection.
I hope you realise that.

Here we are.
Born to be kings.
I have never been so driven in my life.
I'm not going to compromise.
I will destroy anyone that stops me, unless I love them.
I know what I am going to become.
And it excites me.
It feels damn fucking good.

P.S. I am fiercely protective of the people close to me. They know who they are.

1 comment:

davina said...

i couldnt be happier for you that you have embarked on your next journey in life sweetie. hugs.
wherever that leads you, im always going to be two steps behind.