When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive. - Stolen from Iris-Goo goo dolls.
My head's throbbing, my body aches and my soul needs a break.
It's 6.25am and it's been yet another long night of assignments, soccer and insomnia.

I'm no longer lazy to do my assignments, maybe what happened at MDIS was that I felt they were not worthy of me doing anything worthwhile for them. Ego problem. Anyway, finally I feel I am being challenged and I sure as hell am relishing it. Maybe that's what I really needed, a challenge. A personal one at that. A challenge to do so well that people will want to hire me. Everywhere I've gone, school-wise, I've always been accepted and liked. Ironically, on the job-front, it's been quite the opposite. Maybe it really is their fault, or maybe I need to tone down on the ego a little. I don't know, still yet to figure that one out.

I observe the people in class who work for the media and I know by now I should've been one of them. But silly me, being rebellious, lazy and downright stubborn some years before, I impeded my own path. And now I have to take a longer route. Same same, I try to convince myself. I yearn to be successful now and I wish I had realised this earlier. I welcome hardship instead of avoiding it like before. I guess it's just one of life's many little lessons. A close friend of mine commented that he'd always imagined I'd be a writer for a men's magazine. I have thought about it but nothing comes easy, especially in singapore. Somehow during my adolescence, I became disillusioned that by just telling people my name I would get everything I wanted. And this happened quite often, except with my parents, thank god. It's not that I had a lot going for me but perhaps it was the over-confidence I gave that got me further than others.

Now I want to be recognised by my scholarly works and academic transcripts more than anything else. My mind has been starved up till this point and the hunger it has for knowledge is insatiable. Utterly insatiable. The lecturers have been really impressed with my work thus far and I feel invigorated. They keep blowing up my ego by saying how creative I am and how I should be working for the media. Heh. I've never been one to be able to draw a perfect circle nor work out a complicated maths sum. I've always had a passion for writing and that is what I wanna do. Suddenly I know what to do with my life and I never even saw it coming.

I've been courting a bad habit of sleeping really late and I think I have insomnia. Are there any remedies for this? I don't want to be kept up so late every night, it gets tiring.

I hate when people can't pronounce my name. Wtf is scho-lo-mann?

Love and life are intertwined and they both work in mysterious ways.
I work in mysterious ways.
So therefore I am the love of your life.

Distorted syllogisms at 7am are a sign of brain abnormalities. Note to self.

I am going to JB on monday! Ramly burger spree!