Curveballs

When life throws you a curveball, what do you do?

Getting depressed and resigned to fate is one option. The other option, which is somewhat harder, is to muster whatever strength and spirit is left to do something about it. I guess also when times are bad you know who will be there for you and who won't. Which can be sad sometimes. But that's life.

I told my best friend yesterday about everything that's been happening and I felt so guilty. So guilty that I didn't tell someone that would be there for me no matter what. So guilty for not wanting to be pitied. Not wanting to be the guy people stick around just because they pity him. But I should've known better. He called me a shitbag for not telling him! Haha. But more importantly, he offered me the courage and support I needed. That probably swayed certain decisions I made. It's probably gonna be a very painful next few months for me but I'll be strong. Strong for the people who really care, not only for myself.

$600. Day surgery clinic. Probably in 2-3 weeks. Preferred to go for the cheaper option since I wouldn't have to be admitted anyway, hopefully. The other option would've cost $1280 for pretty much the same thing, probably get a free day's stay with a golden toilet bowl too. Heh.

It's pretty sobering in a hangover-after-drinking-alot kind of way that life goes on everywhere else and how insignificant my problems could be perceived. This angry statement probably stems from the assumption that people I expect to care, don't. This doesn't take any value away from those who do. I really appreciate those who do. Thank you.

On a lighter note, I managed to finish my assignment on time despite my problems which I'm happy about. And I have another due on friday! I have thought about deferring or postponing these modules or deadlines but I'm no chicken and I'm not gonna take the easy way out unless bedridden. Heh.

On a totally random note, how often do people realise they are hypocrites? Not very often, from what I'm seen. People sure are complicated.

Last night I read about singapore's Advanced Medical Directive(AMD). For those who don't know, it's a legal document that you sign that in the even one becomes terminally ill or unconscious, extraordinary life-saving measures will not be taken to prolong one's life. No, I'm not thinking about signing it. Although I always thought I would when I was 13, wierd doesnt even to describe what I was doing thinking about it at the age of 13. While reading about it, I found that all the ethical issues related to it were very interesting. Personally if it was my time to go, I would like to do so on my terms, with dignity and in peace, just for argument's sake.

I wish for strength, my problems are nothing compared to what's happening everywhere else. My love will always be unconditional. That's the only way it will and should be.